When Tours Go Wrong - Kingswood

When Tours Go Wrong - Kingswood

We were on our way to Byron Bay, to play at The Great Northern. It was just after we found out we were playing Splendour in the Grass, so the band vibe was pretty, pretty high. The van was way overloaded with three bands’ worth of gear, including a band that has two drummers, so there were two drum kits. Grand. Mango was flying, as he does for most interstate gigs due to his chronic DVT. So it was the three of us: Ferg, Alex and myself. Well for some of it…

After many hours of driving through the night, our dwindling high had been dealt a significant blow after two upsetting events occurred.

First, after boredom induced hunger, compounded by the excitement and hype, the highly anticipated McDonalds Beijing burger with cucumber failed to deliver.

Secondly, only hours later, Alex hit an echidna crossing the road. Thud → double sad face.

Just when things couldn’t get any worse for us poor, poor Kingswood boys, Ferg spotted two hitchhikers and slowed the van. One was blonde. We drove to the servo just up the road to suss out whether or not it would be a good idea to help them out. Ferg thought the dynamic in the van could have done with some lifting, especially after our two incidents, so we let him leave the van and inspect them. He came back and said ‘they look ok’, so we turned around and picked them up.

They were rubbish.

They stunk like a poo-filled bong, used our phones, drank our beers, told the worst stories, made the worst jokes, ate our food and brought nothing to the van but shitness.

As punishment, Ferg was removed from the cabin and placed in the back with the two animals, and he fitted in quite well, whilst Alex and I kept talking about some sweet Wolf Creek moves we could pull on these destitutes. But we didn’t, because we’re nice people, and we let them get out when requested, 2kms before Byron to set up a camp in the bush by the road and smoke whatever it was they wanted to smoke.


You can catch Kingswood - minus the stinky hitchhikers - at the following:

- Prince of Wales, Bunbury, November 29
- Metropolis, Fremantle, November 30
- The Capitol, Perth, December 1
- GoodGod Small Club, December 14
- Rock Lily, Sydney, December 15
- The Corner Hotel, Richmond, December 16
- Republic Bar, Hobart, December 20
- Cherry Bar, Melbourne, December 21
- Pyramid Rock Festival, Phillip Island, December 30
- The Espy, Melbourne, December 31
- The Great Northern, Byron Bay, January 5
- The Westernport Hotel, San Remo, January 25
- Bleach Festival, Coolangatta, March 2
- The Pineapple Festival, Nambour, April 20
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